It is no surprise that it is preferably the institution of marriage, a lifelong engagement. Marriage is a long term relationship between a man and a woman. And it’s no guesswork that a relationship like that needs to be built on a solid basis for both parties to carry on well.
We can also agree that relationship foundations rely over time on the exchange of information — by the interested parties.
It is only natural, as humans, that we depend heavily on knowledge as a determinant of our relationships.
Conversations can convey that knowledge. For example, the fact your spouse is allergic to peanuts is a result of fact that was shared during previous conversations.
Hence, the value of effective interpersonal communication.
Some of the main topics of discussion that soon-to-be-married couples must have before they get hitched are;
1. Couples Must Talk About Their Career Goals
What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself in five years and ten years respectively? Whatever the answer is, it is important that you let your partner know even before you get married.
Certainly not a one-off conversation, it is necessary that couples begin early on during their dating period to spend enough time discussing their individual career goals. Although this may seem trivial, being abreast with your partner’s short term and long term career goals, helps you align your career goals in the short and long term.
This alignment of goals will in turn aid in providing a guideline for whether both of you are; compatible after all, willing to get married or decide to go your different ways.
2. They Must Discuss Their Personal Goals And Visions
Talking about personal goals and visions should not be underestimated among couples planning to get married.
In discussing personal goals, both parties will be aware of each other’s dreams, passions, and interests. And not just this, the couple may then go-ahead to work around ways to support each other’s dreams, and goals. In fact, couples may even realize how their goals
3. Couples Must Discuss Children
Individuals hold various opinions on raising children. Some might believe in disciplining by spanking, while others might be more inclined to only speaking or scolding a child. Additionally, some individuals may not even want children at all. Some individuals might want to bear only one child, while others might want a house full of mini-thems.
The variety of choices when it comes to children must not be underestimated by couples. Never ignore the subject matter of children with a prospective spouse. As little as this topic might seem, this could destroy or make a marriage.
Additionally, discussing in-depth on this subject of children is the key to effectively communicating the opinions of both parties regarding children. Focus on questions like: How many children do you want to have? How do you two wish to raise your children? What disciplinary measures would you put in place to correct their mistakes?
4. Couples Must Discuss Their Personal Finances
Finances are never a joking matter in a marriage. Bills have to be paid, responsibilities have to be met, children and wards have to be catered for and all of these depend highly on the money. For this reason, engaged couples must carry out extensive discussions on their individual finances.
What is your net worth? How much do you earn? What is your annual financial budget like? What loans are you still repaying? What financial flaws do you have? These and many more must be discussed between a couple looking to settle together.
5. Couples Must Discuss Their Religion and Values
Although some may argue that this is unimportant, understanding and knowing your potential spouse’s beliefs, value systems, and religion, is a must.
Remember that humans are social beings who pair off with humans of like minds. Hence, discuss what your individual religions are and how you wish to practise them in your family. Are both parties willing to be non-religious or would they maintain the same faith? No one but the couple can answer these questions themselves.
Remember that this article is only suggesting subject areas to base the discussions on and not imposing them. What’s more important is that you talk to cover all grounds with your spouse-to-be before saying, “1 do”.