“I’m better off without you”, “I like the woman I’m becoming”. Do these statements ring a bell? Many of us have come across quotes like this on WhatsApp, Facebook and so on. Whenever we see quotes like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that the individual who posted it, just got out of a relationship.
I find it funny that after a break up, most people try to prove that they’re over their exes by posting motivational quotes like the ones above or memes aimed at making their exes feel uncomfortable. For example, a girl who just got out of a relationship with a stingy guy may constantly post memes condemning stingy guys on her WhatsApp status, hoping her ex will see it and feel bad. Or a girl who just got out of a relationship with a guy who constantly ignored her, may start posting motivational quotes like “Don’t force yourself on anybody”, “don’t settle for less”, “don’t stay where you are not wanted” etc immediately after the breakup.
If you really want to give your ex the impression that you’re over them, posting memes and motivational quotes is not the way. The best way to do that is to act like nothing happened, and that should also reflect in what you post on your WhatsApp status or anywhere else. Post normal stuff, don’t post anything relating to breakups or relationships. When you constantly post motivational quotes after a breakup, it gives your ex the impression that you’re still thinking about them and that you’re still hurt. But when you act like nothing happened, it makes your ex wonder if they ever meant anything to you (I’m talking from experience).
You should also avoid making your ex feel that you hate them, scientists say that our pupils dilate when we see someone we love or someone we hate, so when you hate someone, they still have an effect on you physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s better for your ex to think that you’ve forgotten about them than to think that you hate them. I’ve actually met a guy who was satisfied with the fact that his ex girlfriend still hated him, he said her hatred was proof that she was not over him yet. They later got back together but the bottom line is that when you harbour hatred for an ex, it means you’re not over them completely.
You may never want to get back together with them, but they still have a strong effect on you and your mood, so try as much as possible to forget, not hate. Some people might hurt you so much that you can’t even control your hatred for them, take all the time you need to heal from the pain, but don’t make it obvious to them that you hate them, you don’t have to put on a fake smile when you see them, just be civil, avoid sounding angry or bitter. This is just my opinion, not a fact, do whatever you think is best for you
Note: you should only do all this if you want to give your ex the impression that you’ve moved on, if you want to hash out the problems between you and your ex, there is no need to act like you don’t care about them anymore but play it cool so you don’t seem desperate. Also, if the issue that resulted in the breakup is a very serious one, it’s better to discuss it and iron it out than to act like nothing happened.
Culled from Nairaland