In any relationship love, sex and passions are very important, but in most cases these words exist alone, in other words some relationships are full of sex but love and passion are missing while some full of love but sex is the major concern as either of the party not really in for sex or having low sex drive regarding their partner’s urge for sex. But often times the word sex is not literally out spoken in a relationship by both parties unlike love and passion which are sometimes demonstrated and shown. Something must be driving you upward in your love life, is it love, passion or sex?
When it come to sex, it’s a major issue in any relationship, but the question is, what drive you crazy about your partner? And why are you in that relationship from the beginning!
Many people are into wrong relationships today as a result of physical endowment of their partner, some because of sex, and not for any other reason whatsoever, peoples enter in to a relationship for reasons best know to them. therefore, it is difficult for them to know when it will end, this is why some dated for years and still not knowing where the relationship is heading and they never end up getting married.
So, there are some basic factors that should be thoroughly dealt with in a relationship so that your partner will not see you as just sex, or bed mate but rather they would see you as that person they would spend the rest of their life with..
Respect is said to be reciprocal, of course everyone wants to be respected by their partner irrespective of their status, but you should know that respect in any relationship is earn and not demands,
Many people fail to realise this truth, you have to earn your partner’s respect not demanding to be respected by them.
When you demand respect the gesture falls on the wrong side of your partner’s emotion thus making them feel they are inferior to you. Even if you both are derived by great passion they would still
End up having sex with you and goes on to marry another person who make them feels that they are both equal, thus they would be free to express their mind and thoughts together without being bother about who is superior or inferior.
Therefore, if you want to be respected you must also shown respect to your partner this is the only way you can earn their respect, you cannot give what you don’t have.
This is where most people miss it and get it wrong, one thing is to love someone another thing is to have the right attitude towards the relationship, in general, everyone is affected by this issue of right attitude, it can make or brake your relationship.
Everyone wants to be shown the right attitudes and when it comes to love sex and passions attitudes is crucial even in our day to day activities, any relationship that is filled with love and passion can fail if it lack the right attitude, this is why some suddenly founds out that their partner are into a relationship with another person even at times they goes on marrying them leaving you behind. At this stage some still fail to recognise their fault, learn to take responsibility and make things right, if need be sit your partner down and inquire of them what they really wants you to do as per attitude and what they wants you to drop regarding attitude, you should also do the same thing for them,
I bet you, you will be surprise the answers you will get and the tremendous change that will occur in your relationship. Let your attitude build a good relationship, a home for you and your partner.
Some people wants to get thing done in time, when you anticipate for getting things done or fix in your relationship it brings about unpleasant emotions which you begins to experience as a result of your anticipation, you must have a clear mind regarding the unseen event in your relationship when you lack positive thought and attitudes towards your partner it’s then you put yourself in state of restlessness and agitation, often with general indisposition and a distressing sense of oppression at the Epigastrium.
When this happen your partner will only get attracted to you when it comes to having sex, the passion and love you both shared becomes so minute that they never see together forever in both on you, rather, they see the sex moment at this juncture they are in for sex and nothing else after the sex the feeling of being with another person drives them away from you, you simply means nothing than a bed or sex mate to them, that’s why some goes on marrying your neighbours or friends, it’s high time you stop fighting and reset your relationship life all these secrets are what can make your relationship go a long way if you can avoid them.
It’s good to spend time with your partner, it’s something that everyone really appreciate but it’s another thing to create a timing space for your partner, this will enable them to appreciate you more, missed you, and craved for you more, many who has failed to realise this, end up jeopardising their relationships, some mess things up with jealousy, some with fear of what might happen behind them, when you love someone try to beat down your doubts regarding them, trust and hope for a better them.
When you choked your partner out of time, you become more irrelevant to them because you have deprive them of their privacy, why not let them have their privacy and timeout when they choose to be, even when you are curious about them still observe this principle of timing.
When you are too much on them, you want to know every thing they do, you want to know who they talk to, checking their calls, E-mail and chats then you are ruining things without you knowing it, give them their time space, let them feel free on their own, they would tell you what you need to know, too much of curiosity will gives you too many wrong answers that will make you do many wrong things even at wrong times and that will ruin your relationships.
Most people mixed it up in a relationship when it comes to the word self esteem they miss took it for self conceit or egotism, being self esteem means having dignity in yourself and self respect which command respect for you from others, Ability to demonstrate self esteem is very important in any relationship you found yourself.
Some have very low self esteem that even when it’s time for them to voice out they couldn’t, in your relationship you must have a compelling say not with egotism but with diplomacy, there must be a dialogue between you and your partner regarding issues at hand, you don’t have to follow orders as if you are under the service of a boss in an organisation, you are both In the relationship together therefore, decision making must seek your consent, if you are very good in carrying out orders in your relationship without you having say, either its convenient or not, you are on the verge of loosing your self esteem totally, one thing is to respect and heed your partners words another things is for you to have a say, but if you don’t have a say or what you say doesn’t count at all, or maybe your partner is narcissist, then you are into that relationship for sex or bed mate not something real, in the eyes of your partner you are just an errand person they will definitely leave you to marry another.
Every humans has his or her own way of controlling anger, its quite true that you will get provoked and get angry but what do you do at this moment? Anybody can provoked you, what matter most is how you handled the provocation, when you are in a relationship should know your strength and what easily get you provoked, then you can try avoiding them when such cases present itself, Ability to control and manage your anger goes a long way in enhancing relationship, are you the nagging type? Or are you the type with such anger that lingers for long?, or are you the type that passes aggression on others?
In what ever category you belong you must learn how to control your anger, never forget no matter how much love you have for a person once you are angry, at that moment the love will disappeared until when you are back to your real self again before the live Surges again, therefore avoid getting angry unnecessarily and practise what make you happy always failure to do this will ruin your relationship even your partner will soon get tired of you,
Sex at times is like getting drunk to get over an issues or emotional discomfort after when the drunkenness is over the problem comes again, so you might be good at sex together but every other aspect you are not just getting along therefore, if you don’t realise this and change you’re just having a bed or sex mate and not a relationship…
Building a relationship is like building a house, you must equipped your house with all necessary and quality materials, the design must be to your taste after which the interior decoration must meet up to your standard and taste. any house that lack proper planning will end up being poorly designed, some becomes an abandoned project, this is why you should build your relationships because that is the home you will live in for the rest of your life.
Therefore, your partner ought to be a pillar and a supporting system in building your relationship, some failed to build their relationship they abandoned it for their partner to bear alone, they felt left concern about how their partner really felt, everything must end in their favour, they have no clue of where the relationship is even going, they are just in for relationship sake not for any particular reasons, when you failed to contribute emotionally, mentally, intellectually, financially and physically towards the success of your relationship, and its only when you need sex you realise you have a partner then you are just a bed or sex mate to them, don’t be surprised when they leave you for another person.
Having a successful relationship is very important because it give you peace of mind and happiness and for you to achieve peace of mind, happiness and sense of being loved you have got to define your relationship and know where you stand, you must be clear about love passion and sex, which one of these is existing in your relationship, why does things goes wrong? Are you a bed or sex mate or a lover? In other words are you having a relationship or sex /bed mate affairs? .
You must be sensitive to thing that is happening in your relationship this will always check mate you and put you on the right track..
Hope you find that relationship you hope for.